Monday, May 14, 2007
The Metaresonant Temple
Mooch Factor 23 tells us that 'I have been absent for some time, however, this is just a perceptual limitation of your stupid eyes! For you see, I have been traveling at a consistent velocity of c for the past 1.4 days in a stolen concept-spacecraft of an alien corporation. What corporation is this, I hear you ask?
'It all started when myself as my robot sidekick, ‘Waa!’, had detected abnormally high levels of schizoid-fluxed psychic energy pattern outbursts amongst users of the “Buzz Lightyear space ranger spin” ride at Disneyworld. Disguised as pancakes, we observed from a distance as ordinary tourists stumbled from the ride’s exist, muttering alien obscenities against the human race and proceeding to the nearest confectionary booth, whereupon they proceeded to consume vast amounts of sugar-based products in an unconscious attempt to prevent the cellular bonds of their internal organs and bones from disintegrating due to the deadly vibrational impact that utterance of these alien words resonated throughout their bodies. But all of this maniacal consumption was in vain, for it was not long before each and every one of the poor wretches collapsed in a bundle of empty, Disney merchandise-clad skin.'
Makes more sense than 'real' UFO contactee stories with a dash more humour. Perhaps, the damned greys have got to this person without him suspecting?